


Stupid (for you)

by justdk



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-20 16:56:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13722021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justdk/pseuds/justdk
Summary: He’s not the only who cares for Jean, the entire team has his back, wants to see him get better. But Jeremy’s the only one who is completely, helplessly in love with Jean Moreau and it hurts.





	Stupid (for you)

**Author's Note:**

> Soft Jerejean prompt: “Oh man, I’d kill a man for an “oblivious idiots who think they’re in one sided love” Jerejean with at least some sweet sweet kisses (I love my dumb broken boy and my dumb sunshine boy)”
> 
> The pacing is a little rushed due to length constraints but let’s presuppose that Jean’s been with the Trojans for over one year and has been Jeremy’s roommate at least for a semester. I hope you like this!

“I’m so stupid,” Jeremy groans. He hides his face against Alvarez’s shoulder and sighs.

Alvarez pats his hair and makes a shushing sound. “You’re not stupid. You just… got caught up in the moment. Jean will understand.”

Jeremy sits up and frowns. His usually sunny disposition is buried beneath a heavy cloud of confusion and angst and unrequited pining.

“I know, I know,” he says, wringing his hands. “I shouldn’t have hugged him, it was crossing a line.” He stares at his palms, rough from long hours of practice. “I thought we had made some progress, you know? We’ve started talking about Evermore. He’s been opening up. We even went to get coffee and study! He said he’d never done that before and he seemed to enjoy it.”

Alvarez watches him with a careful, sympathetic look on her face. He’s not the only who cares for Jean, the entire team has his back, wants to see him get better. But Jeremy’s the only one who is completely, helplessly in love with Jean Moreau and it _hurts._ It hurts when Jean has nightmares and Jeremy can’t help him. And it just about crushed him when, after their miraculous win – cemented by Jean’s last second save – that Jean shoved him away when Jeremy tried to hug him. Jeremy rubs his chest, feeling the phantom force of Jean’s palms pushing him back, he can perfectly recall the panicked look on Jean’s face. He screwed up and now he’s too scared to go back to their shared dorm room.

“Can I stay here tonight?” Jeremy mumbles.

Alvarez shakes her head. “No can do, buddy. Laila and I have a celebratory slumber party planned. No dudes allowed.”

Jeremy tries whining and looking pathetic but Alvarez won’t be moved.

“Just talk to him, Jeremy. Apologize again. He’ll get over it.”

Jeremy knows she’s right; Jean’s not the problem, _he_ is.

—–

 _Why am I so stupid?_ Jean sits on the edge of his bed, hunched over with his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. He really messed up tonight and he still can’t understand _why_. They had won the game, the team was ecstatic and everyone was hugging everyone and Jean felt good, great even. Playing Exy with the Trojans is worlds away from playing with the Ravens. It isn’t life or death, it’s actually fun. He likes his teammates. He likes his captain. A lot. Not that Jeremy will ever believe him, not after the way he reacted.

It doesn’t make sense. He had seen Jeremy coming for him, helmet off, joy brimming from his smile and flashing eyes, and Jean’s pounding heart did this _lurch_ like it was trying to vacate his chest. Jean’s victory high evaporated in an instant, replaced by anxiety. Jeremy was going to hug him. In front of everyone. Jean couldn’t handle it, having Jeremy so close, touching him… not when it would mean nothing to Jeremy and everything to him. So he had pushed Jeremy away and watched as his captain’s smile crashed and burned. His chest aches thinking about it. Nearly an entire semester of living and training with Jeremy, letting him into his life, sharing his past even, and now he had gone and ruined it. He wouldn’t be surprised if Jeremy decided to distance himself. Everyone went away eventually.

Jean checks his phone again. No texts from Jeremy. Jean had declined invites to post-game parties, needing to get some space and process but now the silence is killing him. The room is dark and he should get up and turn on a light except he can’t seem to get up. He doesn’t want to move, not even to lie down. He watches the minutes pass and feels his heart grow heavier. Maybe Jeremy isn’t coming back tonight. Maybe Jeremy doesn’t want to see him. Thinking about it makes Jean feel like someone has stacked weights on his chest. It’s hard to breathe, to focus…

Then there’s the sound of keys rattling and fitting into the lock. The door opens and light from the hall spills in, outlining Jeremy’s form as he fumbles for the light switch.

Jean sits up and blinks at the harsh fluorescents, his face pulling into an instinctive grimace.

Jeremy kicks off his shoes and sets down his sports bag, glancing over at Jean.

“Hey.” Jeremy’s voice is too quiet and cautious. “Sorry if I woke you up. I can turn the lights off again?”

“No.” Jean chokes out the word and it sounds too harsh and abrupt. “I mean, I wasn’t sleeping.”

“Oh. Okay.” Jeremy stands awkwardly next to his dresser, staring at the floor or the walls or his feet. Anywhere except Jean. “So, uh, can I talk to you about something?”

Jean nods and sits forward on the mattress, trying not to fidget or run over and grab Jeremy and hug him. A real hug, to show that he’s sorry and that he’s capable of hugging him. It’s a stupid idea.

“Right, well, uh, I want to say I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable. After the game. I shouldn’t have tried to hug you without asking and I feel really bad about it.” Jeremy’s eyes, his tone, his posture are so contrite and sincere that Jean can hardly stand it. “I don’t want my behavior to mess up the progress we’ve made in our… friendship. I don’t want to hurt you.”

The last part comes out as a whisper and so achingly sad that Jean can’t sit still any longer. He gets up and goes to Jeremy, crossing their small room in a few long strides.

Jeremy cranes his neck to look up at him, unshed tears glinting at the corners of his eyes. The wrenching feeling in Jean’s chest is worse, unbearable.

“It’s okay,” Jean says. He wants to touch Jeremy. “I’m sorry for pushing you away. I’ve been sitting here, all night, regretting it—”

“Wait.” Jeremy reaches for him and then pulls his hand back to his side. “Really?”

“Yeah. I… I guess,” Jean rubs at the back of his neck and shifts his feet. He’s standing too close, it’s like he’s trapping Jeremy against the dresser, but he’s afraid if he moves back he won’t be able to say what he needs to, that the moment will leave and never return. “I panicked. BecauseIwantedyoutohugmeandthatscaredme.”

His words jumble together in a rush and he can feel his face burning. Jeremy blinks up at him with wide eyes and a small half-smile.

“Oh.” Jeremy’s grinning for real now. “Well, the offer still stands.” Jean tilts his head in question and Jeremy clarifies. “The hug. If you wanted to try again.” Jeremy holds his arms out in invitation, blushing.

 _“Yes.”_ Jean doesn’t hold back. He steps towards Jeremy and feels his arms wrap around his waist. Jeremy’s shorter than him and his cheek rests against Jean’s chest. Jean puts his arms around Jeremy’s shoulders, rests his chin on top of Jeremy’s fluffy hair.

Jeremy giggles and tightens his hold. Jean’s heart races and he knows that Jeremy can feel it, hear it. He doesn’t mind. He’s touching Jeremy’s back, feeling the warmth of him, smelling the scent of Jeremy’s shampoo, wanting to hold onto him forever.

“What did you mean when you said that wanting me to hug you was scary?” Jeremy asks. He looks up at Jean and Jean stops breathing because _Jeremy is right there so close_. Jean looks helplessly at Jeremy, the words cued up but he’s not brave enough to say _I like you_. Jeremy waits for several moments and adds, “Would it help to know that I was scared you _didn’t_ want me to hug you? That you didn’t want me at all?”

Jeremy’s tense, waiting for rejection, but he’s still holding on. Jean touches the side of his face and feels Jeremy shiver.

“I wondered the same thing,” he whispers. “I’m worried I’ll mess this up.” He leans towards Jeremy and Jeremy goes up on his tiptoes, wrapping his arms around Jean’s neck.

“You won’t,” Jeremy says. He looks at Jean like he’s his entire world. “We won’t.”

Jean slides his hand behind Jeremy’s neck and holds onto his waist with the other hand. _Are they doing this? What are they doing?_ “I don’t know what I’m doing,” Jean mutters. His lips brush Jeremy’s.

“You’re doing great,” Jeremy replies. He’s smiling; Jean can feel the playful curve of his mouth against his.

—–

They’re kissing. Jeremy can’t believe it. He doesn’t want to open his eyes for fear that this is a dream. But not even in his dreams does this happen.

Jean’s fingers slide through his hair and he’s backed up against the dresser, pressed to Jean’s chest. His heart feels like it will burst, pounding just as hard as Jean’s. He lets Jean guide them, holding back so Jean won’t freak out.

“Jeremy…” Jean’s voice is ragged, his accent more pronounced than usual. “Is this okay?”

“Yes, Jean,” he answers, warmed by the way Jean’s breath hitches when he says his name. “More than okay.”

“I thought I was the only one…” Jean says between the soft, careful kisses he presses to Jeremy’s lips and cheek and brow and chin. Each kiss feels like a tender greeting, a reminder. _I like you. I like you. I like you._

Jeremy laughs quietly and kisses Jean back, mirroring the placement of his kisses. “You’re not the only one. I asked Alvarez if I could sleep in her room because I was so worried you wouldn’t want to see me. I didn’t think I could bear another rejection tonight.”

Jean pulls back and cups Jeremy’s face in his hands. Jeremy places his hands atop Jean’s, holding onto him.

“We’re both a little stupid, aren’t we?” Jean asks.

Jeremy snorts and bumps his forehead against Jean’s. “Yeah,” he agrees, “we are.”

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr @dkafterdark


End file.
